Non Radix

I like democracy. I like freedom. 9/11 was a terrible, terrible day that I will never forget. Also breathing is good. And I suppose girls are pretty, if you’re into that sort of thing. (I am. Although there have been moments …)

So now that I’ve spoken the appropriate shibboleths and made all due obeisance to the idols of the hour, let me just say that I find the whole debate over the Cordoba House (EDIT: now “Park51″, more’s the pity) puzzling and disappointing. I also find the debate over gay marriage puzzling and disappointing, but I’ll tackle that one later.

Did I miss the part in my US government class about loopholes in the First and Fourteenth Amendments? I suppose I could ask my teacher for a refresher, but since he’s busy representing me in Congress I might have to wait a while.

I get that people are sensitive about Ground Zero, much as they are about Pearl Harbor or the Murrah Federal Building. I am, and I was thousands of miles away when the towers fell. And I’m not ignorant of the fact that the hijackers were called themselves Muslims.

Also they had hands. Hands which they used to subdue the flight crews and steer the planes into the buildings. Most likely they wore shirts, too. Shirts they used to blend in with the rest of us while they plotted mass murder. If I recall correctly some of them enjoyed strip clubs. Spend enough time obsessing over the wicked immodesty of Western women, and you’re going to need to blow off some steam while you work to suppress the bare-faced hussies back to the Stone Age.

So I guess we shouldn’t let anyone build a glove store or a drycleaners’ or a strip club near Ground Zero, either.  Because having hands, wearing shirts, and enjoying strippers are all just about as relevant to what Atta et al did as being Muslim.

After Pearl Harbor our government rounded up all the Japanese-Americans and shipped them off to camps in case they were some kind of fifth column. This was a popular move at the time, but we’ve come to consider it one of the more shameful parts of our history. We let our fear and anger and xenophobia lead us down a disturbing path. I can’t really see how the uproar over building a mosque near Ground Zero is any different.

The dangerous part of “radical Islam” isn’t Islam, it’s “radical”. And you can find radicals in every religion and value system and way of life around the world. Islam isn’t the problem – radicalism is the problem. It’s the idea that your way is the One True Way, and it’s up to you to enforce that way on the rest of us by any means necessary. It’s the idea that the whole world is black and white, and that every thought and deed are strokes in an eternal struggle between the two.

This kind of extremism isn’t about Islam or Christianity or Judaism or any other “-ism” besides itself. The vast majority of adherents of any faith or creed are perfectly willing to accept others as long as they’re extended the same acceptance. (Not tolerance, mind you – I mean acceptance. I think calling it “tolerance” stresses the discomfort and unease some feel around the Other, and I’d rather stress the ideal of embracing and acknowledging difference as something to be actively celebrated rather than passively suffered.) It’s not about hating freedom or mistrusting modernity. It’s a deep rejection of plurality.

Zealots don’t trust or understand more than one way of seeing things. I understand their unease around ambiguity and a world where it’s increasingly difficult to orient yourself. To be honest, I feel a little of it myself: I’d still rather build my house on solid rock, not shifting sand.

But wishes aren’t beach sandals, much less hiking boots. The fact that I’d like the world to be a more singular, stable place won’t make it so, and it won’t give me the right to try and write my discomfort in blood and legislation across the white page of the world. There are as many paths as walkers. The more the world grows, the more it branches out; changes iterating fractally in our shared space, a kaleidoscopic explosion of possibilities. We stand at once central and peripheral.

So I try to adjust. I try to see the world through different lenses, remembering that “tinted” isn’t “tainted” and there’s no color-free scientifically-corrected Truth-o-vision. Seeing is believing, and the distance between believing and knowing is measured in humility. I remind myself that Here and Now are all I have, and I share that condition with everyone I meet. Reach exceeds grasp, and that’s where we all have to live.

That, in short, is what this debate is about: there are those who want Their Way enshrined in law and custom like a beetle trapped in amber, and there are those who value the chaotic interplay of ideas and personalities that has produced this wide, wild world we all live in and love. I’m stating that with no small slant because while I value a broad acceptance of all views, I find it hard to visualize a workable acceptance of those who refuse to accept others. If your one-way world leaves no room for me and mine, it becomes all but impossible to negotiate a framework that allows us both the liberties we need. Any idea is acceptable but the idea that no other ideas are acceptable. We reserve the right to refuse service to those who tell us who we can’t serve.

I’ve often thought that those of every faith should refuse to call their zealots “fundamentalists”. Yes, the zealots claim to be getting back to the basics of their faith. But I don’t concede that claim. Fundamentalist Christians, for example, are sometimes misogynistic and judgmental. Is that consistent with the foundations of Christianity? Is that what Christ taught in the Gospels? It’s been a while since I read the Bible, but I don’t recall anything like that coming from Christ’s mouth.

Fundamentalists aren’t some kind of extreme “back to basics” version of the faithful. They’re no closer to the roots of their faith than mistletoe is to the roots of an oak. So why play along with their presumption? I’d love to call myself “most supremely awesome lover Winter”, but even if I got everyone to go along and call me that it wouldn’t make it so.

So let’s let go of the idea that Islam has or had anything to do with terrorism.  Let them build a mosque and a community outreach center – and, by the way, a memorial to those killed on 9/11. What better way to show Islam’s rejection of the terrorists’ suicidal insanity? What better way to help heal the wounds and repair the unjustly tattered reputation of a noble faith? What better way to reaffirm the very tolerance and plurality the terrorists tried to tear down with the towers?

And then let’s let go of the idea that there’s only so much room at the table. Anyone who’s willing to break bread beside another hungry soul deserves a seat, a plate, and as much as they need to be full.

Stuff

I’m going to go a little random here and see where it leads. Bear with me.

I dreamed last night that I was driving around my old hometown in California. I was enjoying the hills and curves outside of town, and I thought I’d go down to the breakwater and think by the old historical warships on exhibit there. But as I drove down from the hills toward the waterfront, I saw that a good half-mile of the road in the valley was flooded out. I heard someone shout behind me, and the water was rising quickly. I got back to the hilltop as quickly as I could and just avoided getting washed away.

The funny thing is that while I’d been to these hills and the breakwater and the ships many times before – I even remember dreaming I lived in a house on the hillside – and I knew in my dream they were all part of my home town, in reality they’re not. There are hills outside of town – there’s one I always dreamed of climbing, and I can remember it vividly to this day. And there’s a waterfront with an avenue of flags opposite the now-closed Navy base. But no breakwater, no old warships moored as a museum.  I’m not sure what these places mean to me, or why they’re tied up with my sense of home. (I’ve lived in the desert over twenty years, and I still think of the coast as home.)

I’ve been at my new job a week now. I like it so far. Last week was training in the classroom. I was hoping to blend in a little – I’m the only supervisor in the class, and the other people in the class respond to you differently if they think they could end up working for you. No such luck.  The trainers ratted me out on the first day. Anyway, spending the next four weeks doing the same job as them should help. Truthfully I’m not wild about taking calls. It’s been a while, and I’ve spent more time leading and motivating sales reps than being one myself. But this is a valuable experience. It’s easier to manage people if you’ve done what you’re helping them do. And it’s nice not to have to stress over a bunch of direct reports for a while.

I think I’m going to like it there. I’m working on finding a balance between being passionate and committed enough to do a good job and not getting so wrapped up in it that I forget it’s just how I pay my bills. Part of that involves planning my website and my online writing portfolio. (Both are in the VERY early stages.) Part of that involves defining myself as more than just my job, finding meaningful things to do with my spare time besides rest up for more work.

I’ve been reading a lot lately. List with commentary follows:

  • The Collected Poems – W.B. Yeats (I saw an article that mentioned “The Second Coming”, realized I didn’t have any Yeats in my collection, and remedied the deficiency. I’ve just started to read it.)
  • The Coldest Winter – David Halberstam (I don’t often read history. Probably I should work on that. Anyway, I saw it in the bargain books section and realized I really didn’t know much about the Korean War. A very good book, although Halberstam is pretty hard on MacArthur.)
  • The Fortress of Solitude – Jonathan Lethem
  • Glasshouse – Charles Stross (I really like the way he can change so many of the usual markers of identity and still project a consistent character. Plus the man is just endlessly inventive.)
  • Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded – John Scalzi (Fun, addictive, and often hilarious. A collection of blog posts from Whatever. Also includes some good advice for writers.)
  • The Complete SHort Stories of Evelyn Waugh
  • Chronic City – Jonathan Lethem
  • The Atrocity Archives – Charles Stross
  • The Jennifer Morgue – CHarles Stross (I’ve been on a bit of a Stross kick)
  • Men and Cartoons – Jonathan Lethem (I’m on a bit of a Lethem kick, too)
  • The Left Hand of Darkness – Ursula K. LeGuin

I’m also working on getting to know myself a lot better. Much as I like to think I’m very self-aware, it’s more like self-conscious and self-involved a lot of the time. Much of what I’m seeing isn’t pretty. (This is not your cue to say “no no, you’re fine.” I’m not beating myself up, but I need to be better on a number of fronts.) So I’m working on the way to live up to my potential.

And I’m trying to figure out my new cat. (Same body, but slightly different personality.) Ever since he had his seizures a few weeks ago, he’s been a little different. He’s a little more irritable and a little less active – more like you’d expect from a cat that’s about ten years old. He has decided that just meowing isn’t enough anymore. He yells very loudly, often while I’m trying to sleep and with no reason I can discern. I go to check on him, thinking he’s hurt or sick, and he just looks at me. Sometimes I can get him to calm down if I make a little cave under the blanket for him, but he tends not to want to be under the covers when I am – it’s a big bed, but I make the most of it.

I’m thinking I’d like to have an iPad. Seems like it would be fun to take it with me and use it in place of a laptop. Lighter and funner. Also I need to get a new laptop, since mine died right after the warranty expired (thanks, Dell).

So that’s my life. It’s been better in some ways, worse in others. I’m trying to make the bad stuff better and keep the good stuff from going bad. An older man in the church used to say “It’s a good life if you don’t weaken” and it always irritated me: it sounded so pessimistic, so bleak.  I wonder if this is what he had in mind?

More

We always think we have more time. Another day, another chance. Call it hope, call it desperation, but we all do it.

Life doesn’t come with a guarantee: no threescore and ten and no rose garden, nor even so much as a handful of manure to start one. Every instant is a gift. Every smile is a treasure. And the presence of those you’re lucky enough to love is a miracle to make the Red Sea look small.

So enjoy it. Presence, not absence, makes the heart grow fonder. Nothing enriches our lives more than time spent enjoying others.

The Big Picture

I haven’t blogged as much lately as I usually do. Part of that’s my decision not to waste my time whining and griping. Sure, there’s a place for venting. But ranting and incessant self-analysis without action? A bit too emo.

A lot of it is me wanting to up the scale a bit – to talk about Stuff That Matters instead of Stuff That Just Matters To Me. I try to find the meaning in the little things that happen to me, but either I’m not seeing it or there’s a lot of meaningless stuff in my life. (My guess is the former.)

My life is pretty ordinary. I go to work and deal with various forms of craziness. I run my errands. I spend time with friends. I try to find new things to do with my time. I try to live better than I have been.

This is starting to sound like self-pity again. It’s not. I’m okay with my life, more than I have been in a while. Yes, my job is terrible. But it’s a living, and it’s temporary. Yes, I have a lot of work to do on my life and my relationships. But I can do it, and I will.

I’m just not finding a lot that seems worth sharing here. I don’t need to air my dirty laundry. I don’t need to blow my own horn. I don’t need to keep rehashing the same stuff over and over.