New stuff next door, for those interested in such things.
I went briefly into Angry Atheist mode a little earlier. You wouldn’t think watching Glee would trigger such a thing, but there it was: Kurt’s bitter atheism and Finn’s crisis of (toast-inspired) faith hit me where I live. I was glad to see that while Mercedes tried to help Kurt see the value and beauty of her faith, his atheism was treated with respect – and there was no “conversion moment” for him. He started out disbelieving, he ended up disbelieving.
After it was over I launched into several loud iterations of William Shatner’s cover of “Common People”, followed by Sarah McLachlan’s cover of “Dear God”. (Oddly, I have neither of the originals – not one song by Pulp or XTC at all, in fact. Another oversight to be remedied in time.) And then the moment passed.
I’ve had many experiences with people dismissing my disbelief. I’ve heard “there are no atheists in foxholes” more times than there’ve been wars to prove otherwise. I’ve run into a few people determined to convert me and save my soul. I’ve also met many who accepted me – not tolerated me, accepted me – for who I chose to be. And thanks in large part to them, I no longer harbor that old condescension/contempt for the religious.
I have a spiritual side. I feed it on Zen and philosophy, on literature and art, on the comforting expanse of the Pacific, on the rich scent of redwood, on the sun over wooded mountains. I feed it on laughter and surprise.
I don’t feel the need of a higher power or a world beyond this one. There are plenty of wonders right here for me without invoking the unseen and ineffable. I’m comfortable with the idea of my existence having a finite extent and a final end.
When I first announced my atheism, one of my friends said it wasn’t so much that I didn’t believe in God as it was that I was angry with Him. I didn’t like to admit that, but it was true anyway. To some extent it still is. One day soon I’m going to work through some of that in a story or a novella.
In the meantime, I’m happy being an atheist. As another friend said, it suits me. I’m happier not being an angry atheist. I don’t need to be a fanatic or an absolutist, and I don’t want to take from anyone the freedom and respect I cherish.
